Nine Months at a Glance
Illustration done by my dearest cousin Ayne Zarof, sent to me during my last trimester. P.S. Check out her blog here http://ayneremembers.blogspot.my/
So I figured before I get into motherhood and the likes, it would be befitting to talk about that pre-motherhood 9-month ordeal they call pregnancy. Some of you specifically requested it and I'm all for writing about this so let's talk pregnancy! But before I go on, I would just like to put it out there that this is based on my own experience and it is advisable to note that each and every pregnancy is different and unique to all women. But generally yes, there are many common symptoms that most pregnant ladies will experience and some of them will be mentioned here.
On getting pregnant.
I had a feeling right away when I was just 2 days late. And I'm never late. At least for most of my menstruating life, that is. I was still in denial though so I anxiously waited another few days. Nothing. It felt weird cos I was still going through PMS-like symptoms like light-headedness, feeling tired and a crazy super appetite A.K.A. FEED ME OR I'LL BE HANGRY kinda hunger...just to name a few (the latter one remained for the rest of the pregnancy).
I had a feeling right away when I was just 2 days late. And I'm never late. At least for most of my menstruating life, that is. I was still in denial though so I anxiously waited another few days. Nothing. It felt weird cos I was still going through PMS-like symptoms like light-headedness, feeling tired and a crazy super appetite A.K.A. FEED ME OR I'LL BE HANGRY kinda hunger...just to name a few (the latter one remained for the rest of the pregnancy).
I then did the preggo test and let's just say it wasn't a success at first. Here's a quick tip if you're ever gonna do the pee-stick test: take a disposable party cup or small container with you to avoid getting messy. Little did I know back then that this would be the first of many u-tests (you'll be doing it at every monthly check up).
After the first failed attempt, the second one was a success however the line was very faint and I wasn't a 100% sure so we went to my GP for a confirmation. I pretty much did the same thing except her test was more reliable and the line was clear as day on that little stick! She announced to both of us "You're pregnant!" and K's (the hubster) reaction was like:
So was mine really. I wasn't sure how to react even though I was happy, but then a million other emotions came rushing in to join the party. It wasn't til we got home that I realised this was really happening. We did our sujud shukr and just let it sink in for a moment. Then we told only our parents and decided to keep it hush before announcing to the rest of the family, at least til the first trimester was over and I was in the 'safe zone'.
First trimester: The Hunger Games.
I remember waking up to a pang of hunger one day and it felt like I had not eaten for several days. But before I could get some brekkie in me, a wave of nausea transpired and I knew I was going to puke at any moment. You know when you start to have that feeling coming up in your chest and throat and you start salivating. Ugh. Toilet dash it is. I hurled nothingness cos of my empty stomach which I later on grew a preference for. Trust me, it is way better than throwing up a plate of rice with daging salai masak lemak. The after-taste lasted too long for that one which is why it's so memorable.
I was never a breakfast person before this so that had to change. This was the time when I realised I needed to eat well and take care of myself for the sake of the little spurt. This was the time that I needed as much nutrients as possible. (though that didn't stop me from having fast food every now and then - don't judge!) At first I struggled to eat on time and learnt that I needed to have smaller portions of food but at regular intervals. And SNACK, SNACK, SNACK. Just snack whenever you can! For the first time in my life I felt like eating became a chore cos half the time I didn't have the energy for it. But if I don't eat, I'll get sick. If I eat too much, I'll get sick. If I eat too little, I'll get sick. Oh the dilemma.
Some of my favourite go-to pregnancy snacks were crackers/biscuits, raisins and assam (taken with moderation just to hilangkan that mual feeling). My cravings throughout included ayam penyet, nasi lemak, pepperoni pizza, chocolate/ice-cream waffles and cheesy nachos. I didn't have any weird ones but all I know is that when the craving starts, it was like I WANT IT, AND I WANT IT NOW! I also had food aversions which for me was the smell of habbatussauda (black seed oil) which really sucks cos it's a sunnah food! Everytime hubster opened up the bottle I would step out of the room. Btw, your smelling senses enhances when you're pregnant, kinda like a superpower!
Fatigue.
I felt incredibly tired all day, everyday and I remember just sleeping A LOT. This part I like. But it always followed with waking up feeling hungry which is the part I don't like. So give and take I guess. However, it got exhausting pretty quickly, being exhausted. So I had to fight it with will and might and lots of duaa for strength/motivation just to go on with my day.
Emotional Changes.
I went through a minor period of depression due to all the physical changes happening at once and honestly, throwing up on a daily basis for weeks at a time can really get to you. I googled articles on prepartum depression and it is such a thing but rarely talked about. The best way to tackle it is to talk. Confide with your husband. Tell him all your worries and anxiety about the pregnancy, labour and motherhood. It is overwhelming and who can blame you. Chances are he is also feeling just as nervous as you are but without the added symptoms. Talk it out and cry it out. InshaAllah it is just a phase and once this part is over you'll feel a sense of empowerment and be like "Let's get this baby growing and soldier on!". This is also the time to read up on articles, blogs, and download apps (look up 'What to Expect' - it's such a great app that shows you your weekly baby updates and how the little one is developing inside you. And also what to expect in the following weeks so you can be mentally prepared). Also don't forget to keep making lots of duaa and ask Allah to ease your anxiety and depression, and seek refuge and peace by reading the Quran.
It was reported from ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No person suffers any anxiety or grief, and says:
للّهُـمَّ إِنِّي عَبْـدُكَ ابْنُ عَبْـدِكَ ابْنُ أَمَتِـكَ نَاصِيَتِي بِيَـدِكَ، مَاضٍ فِيَّ حُكْمُكَ، عَدْلٌ فِيَّ قَضَاؤكَ أَسْأَلُـكَ بِكُلِّ اسْمٍ هُوَ لَكَ سَمَّـيْتَ بِهِ نَفْسَكَ أِوْ أَنْزَلْتَـهُ فِي كِتَابِكَ، أَوْ عَلَّمْـتَهُ أَحَداً مِنْ خَلْقِـكَ أَوِ اسْتَـأْثَرْتَ بِهِ فِي عِلْمِ الغَيْـبِ عِنْـدَكَ أَنْ تَجْـعَلَ القُرْآنَ رَبِيـعَ قَلْبِـي، وَنورَ صَـدْرِي وجَلَاءَ حُـزْنِي وذَهَابَ هَمِّـي
‘Allaahumma innee ‘abduka wa ibn ‘abdika wa ibn amatika, naasiyati bi yadika, maadin fiyya hukmuka, ‘adlun fiyya qadaa’uka, as’aluka bi kulli ismin huwa laka sammayta bihi nafsaka aw anzaltahu fi kitaabika aw ‘allamtahu ahadan min khalqika aw ista’tharta bihi fi ‘ilm il-ghaybi ‘andak an taj’ala al-Qur’aana rabee’ qalbi wa noor sadri wa jalaa’a huzni wa dhahaaba hammi’
“O Allaah, I am Your slave, son of Your slave, son of Your female slave, my forelock is in Your hand, Your command over me is forever executed and Your decree over me is just. I ask You by every Name belonging to You which You named Yourself with, or revealed in Your Book, or You taught to any of Your creation, or You have preserved in the knowledge of the unseen with You, that You make the Qur’aan the life of my heart and the light of my breast, and a departure for my sorrow and a release for my anxiety”
but Allaah will take away his sorrow and grief, and give him in their stead joy.” (Ahmad 1/391)
P. S. if your depression is prolonged and you feel it is serious then you should talk to the doctor about it at the next prenatal visit.
2nd Trimester: Pregnancy Glow, Baby Bump, and First Kick.
They say the 2nd trimester is the best 12 weeks of pregnancy and they are so right. My morning sickness eased up, I had a newfound burst of energy, my hair was luscious, my skin looked good, and that baby bump is finally starting to show! But the most magical of all is feeling the first flutters of your little spurt from the inside. I told my SIL it felt like popcorn popping in my belly or like that candy that pops in your mouth but in your tummy instead. As weeks go by the kicks start getting stronger and noticeable and you will start seeing your belly move on its own. Freaky aliens VS predator stuff but also a pretty awesome sight.
Oh and not forgetting we had our first ultrasound scan on the 13th-week and when we first laid eyes on our peanut, it was love at first sight. Both of us got teary eyed and it was such a beautiful moment to see teeny tiny Khadeejah moving and kicking and hearing her heartbeats for the first time. We wanted to know the gender but it was too early so we had to wait for the 20th week scan. It was then that the sonographer told us it was 60% chance a baby girl. (Enough percentage for me to go ahead and buy little dresses and pink stuff!) We announced to the rest of our family right after the scan and we were happy to finally share the happy news!
Oh and not forgetting we had our first ultrasound scan on the 13th-week and when we first laid eyes on our peanut, it was love at first sight. Both of us got teary eyed and it was such a beautiful moment to see teeny tiny Khadeejah moving and kicking and hearing her heartbeats for the first time. We wanted to know the gender but it was too early so we had to wait for the 20th week scan. It was then that the sonographer told us it was 60% chance a baby girl. (Enough percentage for me to go ahead and buy little dresses and pink stuff!) We announced to the rest of our family right after the scan and we were happy to finally share the happy news!
3rd Trimester: The Final Stretch.
Literally. Stretch marks will most likely be visible by now and you're itching your belly like a big ape. Time to bust out your argan oils and VCO's to ease the itch and hopefully lessen those marks! Honestly I was too lazy to apply it and still am now so my marks are still here albeit it's no longer itchy. Phewh! You're also gloriously bigger and rounder now so be prepared for those "mak buyung" comments which I personally found annoying and kinda offensive. I already feel fat and whale-like. You don't have to make it worse! Don't you know how sensitive we are at this point in time? Sheesh.
Anyhow, I remember the 3rd trimester being very challenging but I think it prepared me for motherhood more than anything. Cos this was when I started to lose sleep. Here's how it went: I was getting heavier by the week and when you're heavy you get a sore back and you need to rest but you can't sit too long, stand too long, or lie down for too long. Finding a comfortable position to lie in bed is another losing battle. Your body temperature is at a high and it was also the hazy season which added to the discomfort. I had to get up to pee several times during the night. And whenever I ate too much or had spicy food I would suffer from a really bad heart burn which meant I needed to sleep propped up which also meant more discomfort for my back. And whaddya know, baby decides to be a night owl and is active and kicking like crazy at night which all factored towards me not getting enough sleep and rest as I should've or would've liked. To top it off, the nausea decided to return for a visit at unexpected times. (I once asked K to stop the car to the side of the road and puked as soon as I opened the door.) Felt sorry for those who saw.
Towards the end where I was nearing the last few weeks or so I was just ready for this baby to come out and get this over and done with. Growing a baby is NOT easy. It takes a lot of mental and physical strength as well as emotional. But nothing beats feeling your little one grow inside you and falling in love with someone you haven't met yet. I finally understood the meaning of a mother's love the moment I felt the first kick. The mercy and compassion that Allah puts in a mother's heart for their child starts from inside the womb. It is indescribable and amazingly wonderful. And it sends me shivers when I'm reminded of this hadeeth:
(Hadits Qudsi: narrated Bukhari) «لله أرحم بعباده من الأم بولدها» Umar Ibn al-Khattab (ra) relates that some prisoners were brought before Allah’s Messenger (saw) and amongst them was a woman who was frantically searching for someone in the crowd. When she found a baby amongst the prisoners, she took it in her arms, cradled it next to her chest and suckled it. So Allah’s Messenger (saw) said: “Do you think that this woman would ever throw her child into the fire?” We said: ‘By Allah, Never!’ So he said: “Allah is more merciful to His believing servants than that mother could ever be to her child.” [Bukhari (10/426) & Muslim (18/80)]
Can we get a takbeer or what?! Allahu Akbar!
So that's my pregnancy in a nutshell. Tips and preparation to come in future posts as well as labour+birth story inshaAllah!
Ok, noooow I can start commenting haha. I wanna know all about the delivery, the cloth diapers challenges, the first few (apparently difficult) days of breastfeeding, what you see is done differently for birthing/post-birth in Malaysia vs rest of the world (or specific countries), and so much more :p ~ Gaelle
ReplyDeletewoohoo! those things will definitely be written about and I'm looking forward to sharing it! Thanks for reading Gaelle and take care of yourself and the little sprout :)
DeleteSubhanAllah! Such a beautiful post. I can totally relate to the first two trismesters! (not yet the third one hehe)...thank you for sharing Umm Khadeejah :)
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading Irfana! hehe hope I've given you some insight on what to expect! Don't worry, at the end of it all when you meet your little bundle of joy inshaAllah, it'll be well worth it! :))
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