How to Reset Yourself (For Mums)
Some days are tougher than others. When everything seems to bring you down and you feel the weight of the world on your shoulders. Whether it be the flu that you're having, or the laundry that's piling up, or your crying child seeking your attention, or who became the president of a country which you don't even live in.
It was one of those days, that I didn't feel good enough as a mother and a wife, that I'm generally not feeling like a good servant of Allah. The rain pours outside as if to compliment my low and sunken mood. I find myself wiping away tears of exhaustion and try to muster up courage and energy to get on with the rest of the day. (after sending emo and venting texts to my other half). And as always, I manage to do it. I manage to see through my baby's needs til the moment she lies in bed at night, sound asleep. But I'm left feeling vacant, I've given my all to my loved ones, and I'm left with a hollow ache.
I know there's only one solution. Not even my husband or child can help fill this void. It is only reserved for my Creator. I've not depended on Him enough which is why I'm running on empty. Because I am not and cannot be self sufficient, only He is. And He is the Provider who provides all that my soul needs.
So I submit and surrender with my head on the ground, releasing my troubles and leaving it there. Silently confide in Him my worries and ask for forgiveness, strength and provision. I read my invocations and dzikr then reach for the Quran...
أَمَّنْ هَٰذَا الَّذِي يَرْزُقُكُمْ إِنْ أَمْسَكَ رِزْقَهُ
Who is he that can provide for you if He should withhold His provision? (Al Mulk 67:21)
حَسْبُنَا اللَّهُ وَنِعْمَ الْوَكِيلُ
"Allah [alone] is sufficient for us, and He is the best Disposer of affairs [for us]." [Al Imran 3:173]
وَتَوَكَّلْ عَلَى اللَّهِ ۚ وَكَفَىٰ بِاللَّهِ وَكِيلًا
And put your trust in Allah, and Sufficient is Allah as a Wakil (Trustee, or Disposer of affairs). [Al Ahzab 33:3]
Isn't it amazing how Allah azza wajal speaks to you through the Qur'an? It is the greatest miracle there is after all. It somehow rejuvenates you and instills within you peace and reassurance. I let myself absorb those words and reset, recharge and rehabilitate. Taking in the ayaat of the Qur'an as sustenance for my soul. I could feel myself filling up again, no longer empty.
Soul, Mind and Body.
I realised that all I needed was to give myself some TLC. When you're a mother and a wife, it's so easy to forget about putting yourself first in order to take care of everyone else. Cos let's face it, we get so absorbed in our duties that we forget and it's totally normal, but just remember to reset and refresh. And I purposely wrote 'Soul' first, because that's the one that needs your primary care. Otherwise the rest will not follow. I needed to clear my mind and that begins with tidying the room (at least put away all the toys) and make some space for yourself to re-collect your thoughts. I always find that my physical space is always a reflection of my mental space. Then your body. Go and have that nice long hot shower you've been longing instead of the usual 5-minute wash and rinse. Go ahead and use that nice-smelling scrub that has been sitting in your bathroom cabinet untouched, wear a hydrating mask, wash and condition your hair... just do anything that makes you feel slightly pampered and relaxed. Slightly more of yourself again. Then go have that cup of tea you've been wanting to sip all day without anyone disturbing you. Close your eyes, take a deep breath and savour your little 'me' time. (At least until your baby wakes up for the next night feed.) Trust me, it'll be good for you and for your family.
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